I’ve been reading the Tony LaRussa memoir ‘One Last Strike,’ and haven’t been able to get past page 50. He is like the personfication of one of those corporate retreat and networking events, in which you spend all day playing stupid games that are supposed to improve your productivity, the contractor staging the event makes about 100 grand, everyone forgets about it the next day and then, when it comes time for budget cuts, they can three or four people to make up the money they wasted on said event.
LaRussa sees every paragraph as an opportunity to pass along something he learned about management from some other celebrity who is invariably a “close, personal” friend. He name drops in the name of managerial acumen and individual and team excellence.
I would like to write my own memoir in which I name drop and network in the same fashion as LaRussa:
“I knew that, though I had the right group of surly, corpulent disc jockeys in place. The staff of interns from nearby community colleges had been fully vetted and knew their role. After giving it a great deal of thought, I felt that the jocks on my station needed to dance a line between overt commercialism and drug-induced narcolepsy. With the fall ratings period approaching in a matter of days, I contacted my close, personal friend – Broadway legend Chita Rivera. It was while having lunch with Chita at the Russian Tea Room that she said something that has infected and nourished my managerial style every since: “To dance is to breath.” It was then that I knew that my first objective was to inspire my staff to read US Weekly, so they would have snarky things to say about Taylor Swift’s latest boyfriend while talking over a 15 second intro of one of her songs.”
You know a new music purchase is out of your price range when Best Buy is offering to sell it to you with six months same as cash financing,
It’s interesting to note the effect that elections and ballot initiatives can have on the economy. Two states passed measures that would (theoretically) allow recreational use of marijuana. This morning, not even 18 hours after the polls closed, sales of Pink Floyd back catalogue titles have jumped 82 percent. In related news, Amazon is back ordered on DVD and Blu Ray titles of the Wizard Of Oz, and sales of Xbox, Wii and PS3 gaming systems and Duncan Hines brownie mix have also increased sharply. The free market works.
I’ve been thinking that with the invention of Coursea, in which people can audit courses online from the most famous and prestigious universities in the world, it would help if there were online accessories that could help you get the rounded, golden-tinged, exclusive and upper crust university experience. To whit: You could change your Facebook profile photo to one of you wearing a pastel sweater tied around your neck, whilst you are smoking a pipe.
In addition, there should be a way that virtual students from one Ivy League university could play football against another – like a Madden 13 interface, with Harvard facing Yale, Princeton versus Dartmouth, etc. Universities outside the United States could play the other virtual footbal(l), with the Hebrew University of Jersulem taking on the College of Edinburgh, and so forth. Rah Rah Rah, Be True To Your School.
I just watched an I Phone or I Pad commercial where someone is using the device to run an Curious George picture book for his/her child. Curious George is some sort of astronaut you see, and is flying to the moon. The kid asks for the distance between the earth and the moon and – wouldn’t you know it – the SURI interactive voice on the IPad has the answer immediately.
It made me think that there needs to be a SURI voice for answering children if you, the parent, would like to raise your child as if it were born before – say – 1980:
Kid: “Suri, how far is it to the moon?”
SURI: “Shut up, goddammit! Can’t you see I’m on the phone?”
(Kid begins to cry)
Kid: “But Suri!! You *are* the phone!!”
SURI: “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!”