I’ve been reading the Tony LaRussa memoir ‘One Last Strike,’ and haven’t been able to get past page 50. He is like the personfication of one of those corporate retreat and networking events, in which you spend all day playing stupid games that are supposed to improve your productivity, the contractor staging the event makes about 100 grand, everyone forgets about it the next day and then, when it comes time for budget cuts, they can three or four people to make up the money they wasted on said event.
LaRussa sees every paragraph as an opportunity to pass along something he learned about management from some other celebrity who is invariably a “close, personal” friend. He name drops in the name of managerial acumen and individual and team excellence.
I would like to write my own memoir in which I name drop and network in the same fashion as LaRussa:
“I knew that, though I had the right group of surly, corpulent disc jockeys in place. The staff of interns from nearby community colleges had been fully vetted and knew their role. After giving it a great deal of thought, I felt that the jocks on my station needed to dance a line between overt commercialism and drug-induced narcolepsy. With the fall ratings period approaching in a matter of days, I contacted my close, personal friend – Broadway legend Chita Rivera. It was while having lunch with Chita at the Russian Tea Room that she said something that has infected and nourished my managerial style every since: “To dance is to breath.” It was then that I knew that my first objective was to inspire my staff to read US Weekly, so they would have snarky things to say about Taylor Swift’s latest boyfriend while talking over a 15 second intro of one of her songs.”